Nobody knows how i feel inside's Journal [entries|my girls|calendar]
Nobody knows how i feel inside

[ profile | about me ]
[ calendar | my past ]
[ my bestfriend | kryz ]
[ my bestfriend | kaitzy ]
[ a sweetheart | renita ]
[ the bride to be! | theresa ]

[30 Oct 2002|09:58am]
[ mood | crazy ]

YOU GUYZ MISS ME

ADD MU NEW JOURNAL beautiful_fairy

title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description title or description

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sorry [28 Jul 2002|12:17am]
[ mood | crazy ]

So ya i have a new name *beautiful_fairy* and no one wants to add me im sorry i was a bad livejournal friend to you all im really sorry whatever i did that made u not wanan talkto me anymroe im sorry

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HELLO~ [19 Jul 2002|10:40am]
[ mood | angry ]

MY new name is beautiful_fairy on live journal and no one has added me but 35 people i see who my real friends are =( i miss all of you guyz so if you want to add me please do cuz i miss you LOTS this journal is friends only so ya buhbyes =(

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Why me....... huh [13 Jul 2002|04:19am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Have you ever liked some1 soo much you fought for them well i tried that and gave all i could and what am i left with nothing im such a loser why did i have yo like him . HIm outta all people why him its just that i cant get him outta my head im going crazy I LIKE THIS SO DAMN MUCH im seriuosly in tears fuck the world
I GUESS IM NOT PREETY ANOF
I GUESS IM NOT SMART ANOF
I GUESS IM 2 DIFFERNT
I GUESS U HATE ME BECUASE I REALLY SO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU
I GUESS YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I REALLY DO CARE
YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I LIKE YOU FOR THE PERSON YOU ARE
U KNOW HOW I SEE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS SEE YOU AS THE GREAT PERSON I ONLY SAW A GLISMPS OF BUT THAT IS WHO I WILL REMBER BECAUSE THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND I EXCEPT AND LIKE YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING FOR THAT REASON SO KILL ME BECAUSE I LIKE YOU FOR YOURSELF HATE ME BECUASE I CARE BUT DONT HATE ME BECAUSE I TRULEY LIKED YOU FOR YOU

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..*.. pix of kait kryz & meeee ..*.. [10 Jul 2002|06:18pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

OK for all you who never seen me THIS IS MY AND MY BEST FRIENDS KAITZY AND KRYZ what do u think am i ugly or what TEAS THE BES T I LOVE YOU

l0l do you see the pictures that are goofy well i was being a geetto black girl and kaitzy was goth adn krys was a cheerleader OMG we made so many vedios i love you girls so much i couldnt ask for better friends that was the day that made me smile and that takes alot 2 do HUGSSSS






















ps: tea wuvz yew savvy :D

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MY EYES [10 Jul 2002|05:03pm]
I just went to the eye doctor to see if i have glycoma and he dialted my eyes and the puple took over my whohle eye and my whole eye is black its scary we have to put down all the shades and everything beucayse the light kills on my eyes ahhhhh this sucks i have to go back for 1 more test and then ill know if im going blind im scared i wish i could SEEEE grrrrr
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[10 Jul 2002|12:34am]
Does any one wanna se pictures im me right now at kizzes4dafellaz on aim
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im home [09 Jul 2002|06:07pm]
I HAD THE BEST TIME WITH KAITZY AND KRYSTAL OMG THERE MY BEST FRIENDS I LOVE YOU GUYZ *HUGS* BUT IM GONNA POST PICS LATER OF US 3 love u
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[05 Jul 2002|07:30am]
hey to all muh girls im goin partyin to night the 4 of july was funny talk to u all later !!!!!
peace
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tay tay [02 Jul 2002|05:42pm]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAY TAY LOVE YOU YES I DO

ONLY ONE MORE YEAR TILL SWEET 16
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Kaitzy and kryz [02 Jul 2002|05:19pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

TOMARRO I GET TO SEE MY GIRL krystal and kaitlyn aka (kryz and kaitzy* there my best friends and first were going over krystals and then were spending the night at kaitzy i would have them at my new house but its crazy there and all our boxes arent even unpaked so its better this way we have so much to tlak about *wahoooo* and where goign swimming kryz house then kaitzy and parting all night *GIRLS NIGHT OUT* woot woot anyhow 4th or july my uncle every year has a huge ass block party so im going there and anyone else that wants to go and lives in michigan holla ill let u know where it is it feels good to be home me and kaitzy both and to be acctresses so we always read scripts to each other and any one else would think that weird but shes really talented and shes tells me the same and my and krystal and kaitzy are the best of friend i couldnt ask for anything better EXCEPT MY LIVEJOURNAL FRIEND TO ALL OF YOU GET KISSYS IM IN A GOOD MOOD IM ME IF YOU WANT AT kizzes4dafellaz on aim well im off to la la land


well today im sick so me and my mom just talked and tongiht were are gonna stay in and shes is gonna make me sum yummy fried chiken that i love and where gona watch gilmore girls and have a mommy daughter night


BYE BYES i better get some kisses back

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[02 Jul 2002|12:38am]
Im back in michigan i love you guyz
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[26 Jun 2002|07:53pm]
BYe california i really love you tonight is my last night i will be here i know we already packed up my house and moved and where staying the night at my aunts but i will misss everything about you my friends my family my nabiors and my house that was once mine goodbye we are leaving tomarro you haev done so much for me its really hard to leave but the good bad and sad memories i will never forget becuase you have brought the best out in me and showed me what it is to be my self i thank you when im 18 i will be back and you'll see me as a actress and some one thats life you did change and expand my herizoins i love you and for everything you have made me no one else could do this but you and these people When i come back to you i hope and dream i will be a star and ill owe it all to you for you gave me the strengh to belive in me and make me the star that i know i will become thank you this i will and could never forget you have been my would my life and soul thank you

bye california and u saved me life
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This is my life always [24 Jun 2002|09:03pm]
God damit why in the fucking hell cant i be happy EVER its like i was happy last night but i knew as soon as i got of the phone id be sad agian god damit why do i have to have feeling why do i have to hurt finally i like someone and im soo fucking scared of liking him i could not take someone hurting me and ohh he deserves so much better theni could ever give him some1 beautiful and sweet and caring and someone that is normal and not a FUCK UP and not someone that is never right oh god he deserves more then me even though i like him it dosent matter beucause no one should have to put up with me why should they
i cant be hurt agian i cant

Why cant there be someone to undersxtand me to excpet me and like me FOR mE im sorry im differnt from others girl im sorry i wont LIE to you And im gonna tell you the truth and if u cant handel that i dunt even know gawd i hate me fucking life and im sorry i will never ever be like them beucase i can only be myself i pray i could be some1 else but that prayer will never become its like im cursed That i will never be exepted and no one will ever be on the same level that i am and understand me that will never fucking happen never put

i wish it did or i really do
but wishes are for dreamers and my drea,s never come true
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confused [23 Jun 2002|10:56am]
i like this guy and its like he gets me and hes on the same leval and everything and more of all things he understands but he dosent think i would work out and stuff and i dunno what i think i mean i think if you like someone you should give it a chanse but im really scared of being hurt agian i need someone thats really gonna like me for me and well yea who will ever do that *sighs* thats just my life
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brake [22 Jun 2002|08:58pm]
i know ive not been updating or commenting and im really sorry i hope you all forgive me but im moving and all hell broke oout i cant wait till i move back and am like 5 minutes from jeff heheh and kaitzy and kryz

im gonna miss cali so much
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[18 Jun 2002|04:36pm]
ta dum ta dum im just moving it takening alot outta me tomarro and thursdat im walking dogs at the horse show it should be alot of fun
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[16 Jun 2002|07:51pm]
I almost died today i was in the ocean and it wasent very high ......... so we went ferther and then we got got in one of teh strongest rip cureents of the year and it pulled me under and i couldnt get back up but then i got abck up and i tried to swim away really hard i was doing everything i coudl it was like my arms were jello but it keep pulluing my further out and then i got really scared it was really deep and i was really far about and the waves pulled me way far away from anybody so i got caught in the rip currnet and it held me under to long and i was breathing in water and i blacked out and istared screaming and the last thing i rember was waking up with everone staring at me and i almost died

like 10 others got caught in the rip current includeding 3 others from my family but im the only 1 that got stuck on the bottom and balcked out

think of it today i couldve been dead i would neevr of got to say good bye adn sorrie to anyone for something eman i said what if i never got to tell my daddy happy fathers day what if i never said i loved you and goodbye this is breaking my heart today i should be dead but im alive and it makes me

think that u should never regret things beuccase u never know when they will dissapear i learned that a very hard way so please just love what you have and hold on to it tight beucase it might no be there tomarro and never hold you feelings back beucase what if they never get said

im really emotional right now im sorry but thank you so much for being for me all these times iwant you to know that and im sorry for any one thing that was mean i ever said beucase i would have never been able to say it cuz i mightve not been here to say it I love you

I just can't belive i almost died today


THANK YOU GOD FOR LIFE YOU SAVED ME
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I almost died today [15 Jun 2002|09:57pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

I almost died today i was in the ocean and it wasent very high ......... so we went ferther and then we got got in one of teh strongest rip cureents of the year and it pulled me under and i couldnt get back up but then i got abck up and i tried to swim away really hard i was doing everything i coudl it was like my arms were jello but it keep pulluing my further out and then i got really scared it was really deep and i was really far about and the waves pulled me way far away from anybody so i got caught in the rip currnet and it held me under to long and i was breathing in water and i blacked out and istared screaming and the last thing i rember was waking up with everone staring at me and i almost died

like 10 others got caught in the rip current includeding 3 others from my family but im the only 1 that got stuck on the bottom and balcked out

think of it today i couldve been dead i would neevr of got to say good bye adn sorrie to anyone for something eman i said what if i never got to tell my daddy happy fathers day what if i never said i loved you and goodbye this is breaking my heart today i should be dead but im alive and it makes me

think that u should never regret things beuccase u never know when they will dissapear i learned that a very hard way so please just love what you have and hold on to it tight beucase it might no be there tomarro and never hold you feelings back beucase what if they never get said

im really emotional right now im sorry but thank you so much for being for me all these times iwant you to know that and im sorry for any one thing that was mean i ever said beucase i would have never been able to say it cuz i mightve not been here to say it I love you

I just can't belive i almost died today


THANK YOU GOD FOR LIFE YOU SAVED ME

+ 40+KisSes + + KiSs mE +

[14 Jun 2002|07:24pm]
I NEED A PAID ACCOUNT *CRIES*

THIS SUCKS *WAHAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAA*

Fuck fuck fuck a duck i need a paid account
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